I want to get the message out about how to eat.  Something clear, concise and easy to understand and implement.  I have written extensively on my main website for having a healthy lifestyle.  I decided that people need more.  Some kind of a program with support and formal lessons, etc. because simply reading posts doesn’t produce results.

The result I am talking about here is a healthy relationship with food. I don’t want you to have to think about food, weight, or your body anymore.  I want it to be easy and come naturally.  You eat when you are hungry, you eat what you want, and you stop when you are full.  Your body remains steady at its own set point weight.

I’ve been on both sides of the relationship with food.  Healthy eating is not what you’ve been made to believe.  Weight doesn’t have to be ‘controlled’.  Trust me and I will show you how to trust your body.  You probably haven’t done that in years–how is that working out for you?  There is a better way.

Learning the Secret of Eating Right

It seemed like there must be some secret to weight regulation that I didn’t know, but I really wanted to learn.  This rather superficial reason led me to study nutrition in college.  Upon graduation, I was involved in interning at a facility which provided information on a non-diet approach to weight management.  I connected with this philosophy immediately.

Because I was already disheartened to know that most people who diet ultimately regain their weight, I was very interested in a different mentality.  I was certain that I did not want to place people on diets, as it seems unethical to know ahead of time they will fail.

I now know there is an easier way to be a normal, natural eater.  This type of eating promotes a person being at their body’s set-point weight (where their body naturally wants to be), without the use of dieting and excessive exercise. 

There are millions of people in this country and around the world who are struggling with their weight.  They, too, are beginning to see after many diets, that dieting is not the answer.  So that begs the question:  What is the answer?

What I have learned about normalizing the relationship with food is this:  it is not so much about what you eat, as it is about why you eat.

I want to help others improve their relationships with food.  I now feel that I am the kind of person who can eat whatever I want—and I have seen that anyone can have that freedom if they are willing to follow this approach.

The Lies We Buy about Healthy Eating

It seems like everywhere you turn there is someone telling you how to eat, what to look like, and what to do.  Family members (with their best intentions) affect your food behaviors in profound ways.  From the first time you are offered a cookie when you are crying (and not from hunger), you begin to make some unfortunate associations. 

As you grow older, your friends go on diets, complain about their bodies, etc, until you become increasingly uncomfortable with your own appearance.  Media comes in with unrealistic representations of what people should look like.  ‘Lose 5 pounds in 5 minutes’ is plastered on every magazine you pass while trying to buy groceries (hence the second-guessing of your choices). 
• The Lie we are fed:  “I (your name here) will be perfect/happy/etc…when I weigh_______ or am a size_______.  In fact, my biggest problem is that I am fat or am getting fatter every minute.”

• The Solution we are told:  Dieting is the path to this life of bliss you are seeking.  All of your dreams will come true from the moment you cross below the threshold of _____lbs.     Fireworks will shoot across the sky,
Angels will sing….

The Endless Cycle of Self-Destruction

So you begin the famine/feast cycle of dieting/not dieting.  This wreaks havoc on your biology as well as your psychology of eating. 

There are more diets available than ever, yet obesity is at an all-time high.  Still, people are praised for eating ‘good’ and criticized for eating ‘bad’. 

Your thoughts become progressively more obsessed with your eating patterns.  You get distracted from what you are doing because you are thinking about what you should eat vs. what you want to eat.  Of course, you feel perpetual guilt about the amount of exercise you aren’t getting.
Disordered eating is basically a focus on eating and body size that is negatively impacting a person’s quality of life. 

Nutritionist Debra Waterhouse defines it as, “any [person] who has some form of an unhealthy relationship with food and [his/her] body is a disordered eater.  [S/he] may be caught in the diet—binge cycle, restricting ‘forbidden’ foods, feeling guilty after eating or in a semi starvation state from chronic under eating, fasting, skipping meals, or over exercising.”

If you can’t go to a party or holiday gathering without anxiety about your eating, this is a problem.  If you feel guilt or remorse for what you’ve eaten, your quality of life is being affected.  Chronic dieting is essentially a socially accepted form of disordered eating.

THE PROBLEM:

 These behaviors ultimately impact your relationship with food and your body.  The side effect of this problem is your weight change.  Did you hear that?

WEIGHT CHANGE IS A SIDE EFFECT

THE PROBLEM IS:
YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD

I emphasize this because throughout the course of this process (yes, it is continual, but gets easier over time), you may falter.  If the focus shifts to the weight, the relationship with food becomes more distorted.

You may get distracted by sudden urges to ‘drop 5 pounds in 5 minutes’, despite the knowledge that you have tried that a gazillion times before—only to gain more weight back than was lost.  You will think all this food relationship mumbo jumbo is not quick enough.  Well, tell this to your inner hare:

• One year after people lose weight from dieting, 95% will have regained the weight. 

• After a few years, this number jumps to 98%.

• And it may be possible the other 2% are lying.

Your inner tortoise, who is willing to do
the work to improve quality of life
 by normalizing the relationship with food,
 wins this race.

Causes of Overeating:

1. Physical Overeating:  becoming too hungry between meals (ie. going too long without eating), which causes a biological reaction of overeating.  The body seeks high carbohydrate and high fat foods in an effort to stock up for future famines. 

This site will contain information on how to avoid overeating for physical reasons.  This includes concepts like timing of meals, combining at meals, etc. 

Some people will resist implementing new habits, because they will rationalize them as being ‘rules’ about eating—and this process is here to reject rules.  I do so hate to provide specific instructions because I know that your body knows best. 

However, I also know that many people embark on this journey after long abusing their bodies.  I want to help your body use food efficiently and minimize overeating for physical reasons. 

So many people come to me feeling they eat ‘out of control’ and once they implement these techniques, they find it was not a will-power issue at all.  Just simple biology.

2. Non-hunger Overeating (Emotional):  this is eating for reasons other than hunger.  Eating because it looks good, because of boredom, stress, etc.

This part of the process is much more involved.  But the work done in these areas will set you free for the rest of your life.  You will begin to understand why you eat the way you do.  You will actually begin to understand yourself much better—who doesn’t need that?

It seems as though hanging out with her buddy Madonna has really rubbed off on her.  Madonna is clearly trapped in a compulsive overexercise disorder — this was even reported to be one of the issues in her marriage.  So now Gwyneth is all over the place with her fancy trainer and her crazy cleanses.

Let me begin by saying, detox cleanses are not only not helpful, they are potentially harmful.  You may remember Gwyneth being hospitalized from one of her many attempts to detoxify herself.  Does that sound healthy?

Cleanses do not actually ‘clean’ the body.  The liver and kidneys do that.  They don’t need help (though there are many people out there trying to sell the idea they do).  A cleanse is basically starving and taking laxatives.  Oh, that sounds a little like anorexia and bulimia.  Newsflash:  it is. 

People love to say that weight loss from cleanses happens because your system is working so much better.  Weight loss is, however, a pretty natural result of starvation and dehydration.  Yes, even if you drink a lot of water.  Drinking excessive water without electrolytes can create a dangerous situation (think frat boys and dying of water intoxication).

What do you suppose happens after the detox cleanse?  You guessed it, all the weight comes right back (and usually more from binging).  You get rehydrated and plow into some real food, and voila!, you are right back where you started.  Maybe the benefits of electrolyte imbalance and protein malnutrition last a little longer, but that doesn’t seem healthy.

So when Gwyneth Paltrow glances down at her toothpick body and decides she’d like to drop a few, call it what it is.  She is engaging in eating disorder behavior.  Her actions have really been exacerbated since having children and being in her 30′s — both scenarios are common triggers for eating disorders. 

I am not saying this because I’m worried about her or I am speculating on her life — she can take care of her self (supposedly).  I am saying this because I don’t want you to think what she is doing sounds like a good idea.  She is being extremely unhealthy, physically and mentally.  This is not the way to control weight.  This is not the way to be healthy.  This is certainly not the way to live life.

I know that the hope of losing weight with diet and exercise is pretty slim.  In fact, I disagree with the fundamentals of the diet and exercise mantra of the health industry.  I realize, in some cases, drastic measures are necessary.

The problem I see with bariatric surgery is the notion of it being a total solution.  The problem people have is an abnormal relationship with food.  Until this is addressed, the problem has not been solved.

People use food for reasons other than hunger.  Most people eat emotionally without realizing it.  Emotional eating is not the typical scenario of crying over a pint of haagen dazs.  People don’t feel an emotion — there is just a sudden urge to eat.

When you take away a person’s ability to regulate their emotions with food, what do they have left?  Oftentimes you see people who have had the surgery switch addictions to drinking or even drugs.  I have seen several cases myself where people have developed anorexia or bulimia after bypass surgery.

The key to success with weight loss surgery is to give people the tools to handle what they were not handling before the surgery.  People need to do the hard psychological work in order to really see a change in their lives.  Working with a nutritionist who understands binge eating or compulsive overeating is key as well.

Gastric bypass surgery is a tool.  It should be one tool of many to be used in regulation of weight, not the only tool.  It should also be clear that weight loss surgery, and the resulting weight loss, will not solve all of the individual’s issues.  It is easy to get sucked into the culturally propagated idea that if you lose weight, your life will be perfect.

If you are thinking of having bariatric surgery, do so responsibly.  There is a palpable fear among the patients I’ve worked with, and that is the fear it won’t work for them.  This is definitely a possibility if it is not done correctly.  I’ve seen people stretch to the point of being able to overeat again.  I’ve seen people graze throughout the day in order to keep themselves numb.  The reason this continues to be a problem for these people is they allow themselves to be blind to reality.  The reality is the issue is far deeper than food.

I watched the film.  There was plenty of *shock* to add to the drama. The issue I have is that because of all the horror stories, we are supposed to feel our food is unhealthy and we are unhealthy.  It is this message of fear-mongering that cause us to be less healthy overall.

People love to blame weight issues on everything under the sun.  If it is something out there, then I can alter that and voila! I am cured.  It will not be as simple as switching to organic or increasing regulation. The issues people have with food run far deeper than the food supply.  People eat for reasons other than hunger.  Even if it is organic, you are still going to gain if you are not hungry when you eat.

Weight issues are not caused by hormones in cows or pasteurization or genetically modified tomatoes.  People who do not struggle with weight eat from the same food supply.  I treat many people who have weight problems — the majority of them know it is about their relationship with food.

The food supply is also apparently making us sick.  Diseases such as hepatitis and diabetes, according to Food Inc. are being caused by the food supply.  The genetically engineered tomatoes have no nutrients, they say.  While people might find these larger tomatoes to be less flavorful, they retain their nutrient profile.  (As an aside, organic and regular produce also have identical nutrient profiles.)

Diabetes is not caused by the food you eat — it is an insulin regulation issue and there is a genetic predisposition required.  Hepatitis is not just hanging out on or in food – hepatitis A is transmitted between people due to poor handwashing.  If you get it from food, it is because the person who prepared your food forgot to wash his hands.  Yuck.

The reason I am speaking out about this film is because it feeds the frenzy of distraction.  If you can get people fired up about the food supply, well, I don’t know what – but I do know you will not be solving any of the issues you propose to solve.  This will not help people with weight or illness.  All it will do is take people longer to get to the real issues of their weight struggles.  Do not waste your time with this cause — it is fear-mongering.

I want to be clear that I am talking about all different shapes and sizes of people are dissatisfied.  While this movement gears itself at people above the traditional standards of ideal body weight, this idea can liberate all people.  Because of this culture’s fear of fat, we have all sorts of people doing all sorts of weird things with their eating and bodies.

If people weren’t so desperate to avoid weight gain, we may see a decrease in chronic dieting, eating disorders, and even binge eating.

So the research shows (per the CDC) that being overweight and even obese brings less of a health risk than being underweight and normal weight.  It is not until people reach the extreme end of obesity that there is a health risk.  Of course my clients hear from family members that they are well on their way to that unhealthy place, but we know better than this.

People are more likely to gain and gain if they are repeatedly exposing themselves to diets, otherwise known as restriction.  Like Newton’s other law, what you restrict you will ultimately binge.  So these types of diets meant to save people from their weight end up making the weight go higher.  This is true in 98% of people who diet.  This means everyone.  If you know someone who lost a lot of weight and kept it off, they are an anomoly.

If a person is overeating, and that is what is leading to their weight struggle, they may choose to seek help with this.  This choice would be based on wanting to more effectively identify and cope with their feelings, not for health reasons.  If a person feels like they are eating normally, and their weight is out of ‘ideal range’, this may be the result of genetic predisposition.  These people should not be pestered by friends, family or physicians.

All types of bodies should be honored.  We are not all the same–thank goodness!  What a boring world it would be if we all looked identical.  Don’t let fears of impending health doom make you worry about weight.  Love your body, and all bodies, and the world will be a better place for everyone.

Now imagine the same scenario, only this time I told you this food was available to you as often as you’d like.  You could have it everyday for the rest of your life if you wanted.  It was yours for the enjoying, and no one would ever take it away from you.  How do you feel now?

In my work with clients, there is extensive emphasis on something called legalization.  This means seeing all foods as equal.  The reasons we do this are 1) all foods have some nutritional value, and 2) it decreases the risk of binging ‘off-limits’ foods.  If you have foods on a bad list, you have to admit those are the ones you overeat.

It has been amazing to see the way food has lost its hold on my clients.  Some clients have reported important realizations since legalizing.  Some of the foods they binged in the past don’t even appeal to them anymore.  When you legalize foods, you get to determine if you even like them.  You don’t just binge them because they are ‘bad’.

When we take a look at the good food list and compare it with the bad food list, we see some interesting things.  I find that things like fruit, brown rice and sweet potatoes are on the good food list. Then I see that white bread, pasta, and cookies are on the bad food list.  It occurs to me that very obviously these items all share one important nutrient.

Carbohydrates.  While much is made of types of carbohydrates, the fact is they are all broken down into the same chemical structure.  Just like a molecule of water is H2O everywhere it exists, carbohydrate is identical when it is broken down.  Dare I say what that molecule is called?  Glucose–that’s right, sugar.  It is the all important fuel for blood sugar in the body.

The reason people make a fuss over different types of carbs is because of how they affect the blood sugar.  Ideally we want a nice, gradual rise and fall of blood glucose.  The fiber in fruits or brown rice helps that more than in bread.  But the newsflash is, most carbohydrates are eaten within the context of a meal anyways.  You will already be combining it with protein and/or fat, which will slow the digestion of the carbohydrate just like fiber.

This is why dietitians in general pay no mind to glycemic index or glycemic load.  We get that most people aren’t munching on single slices of white bread alone.  If you have a cookie for a snack, you are already getting the benefit of the fat in it to slow the digestion–problem solved!

Now I am sure I will receive a number of comments blasting me for being a nutritional heretic.  I used to be just like those people, pouring over calorie counter books and discovering the latest phytochemicals.  I used to think that was what was important for health and weight control.  Now I am clear on the real issues with eating:  an abnormal relationship with food.

One of the major reasons people are not comfortable with food is because they give it moral meaning and attach guilt to it.  This causes people to actually eat much more (rather than help them ‘control themselves’).  There is no reason for it.  Supplying people with a bunch of lists of foods to avoid has only resulted in rising numbers of people struggling with their weight.  So picture your favorite food one more time…now go have it, and enjoy every bite!

Okay, so you want to know what is going to help you now, right?  If you take one thing away from this post, let it be this:

Eat When You Are Hungry…and Stop When You Are Full.

I am not trying to be simplistic here.  Believe me, I see clients in my practice who have a very hard time with this.  The number one issue people have with weight is breaking this ‘rule’.  You are eating for reasons other than hunger.  Let me be clear here:  Physical Hunger.

Many people think they are hungry, but they just want to eat.  That is called an appetite or mouth hunger.  It has nothing to do with the body’s needs.  Some people say they are never hungry.  This means they are eating too frequently–they may be grazing, and are probably emotionally eating without realizing it.

Nobody thinks they emotionally eat, however almost everyone does.  A common example of this is at Thanksgiving, when you are completely stuffed.  You announce you won’t eat again for a week.  Then the dessert cart roles out and you are first in line.  You are not physically hungry here.  A person who listens to their cues would have no problem waiting for the return of hunger to have dessert.

When you are desperate to lose weight fast, you start to think of all the bad foods you should eliminate from your diet.  This is another major issue I see with clients.  It is very important to legalize all foods.  There are no bad foods, and thinking otherwise will cause more overeating.  If you feel guilty about what you eat, or deny yourself what you want…this inevitably leads to overeating in the long run.

Every time you start to focus on weight, remind yourself of what your real focus needs to be.  Weight focus will derail you because it will lead you straight back into the diet mentality of cutting out bad foods and denying yourself when you feel hungry.  Your mantra must be, “Eat when I’m hungry, stop when I’m full, and eat whatever I want without guilt.”  Sounds a lot different than what you’ve heard over the years, but then again, that old message hasn’t been working so well for anyone.

___________________________________________________________
A good way to become attuned to your physical cues (in your quest for weight loss for summer) is to use the following hunger/fullness scale:
0, you are famished. You probably haven’t eaten in a long time (6-8 hours). You are possibly quite grumpy. You might be feeling nauseous, dizzy, or light-headed. You might have trouble thinking clearly. Your metabolism is slowing down to conserve energy. You need food.

1, you are ravenous. All you can think about is how hungry you are. You are consumed with ideas about what you want to eat. Because you’re so hungry, once you do eat, it’s likely that you will overeat to compensate.

2, you are too hungry. You are probably irritable. You may have a headache. Your stomach might be aching by now.

3, you are having hunger pangs. It’s time to eat. Your body is giving you the natural signals that it needs food. You start to salivate when you think of something that tastes good, and your stomach might be growling.

4, your hunger is just starting to awaken. There is a sense of emptiness in your stomach. This can be an appropriate time to eat.

5, you are neutral. You aren’t hungry or full—this sensation exists between mealtimes.

6, you are just satisfied. You aren’t hungry anymore, but probably will be in 2-3 hours. There is definitely more room for food, and you still feel light and energized. This can be a good place to finish a meal/snack.

7, you are completely satisfied. You got your fill of the food you wanted. You are no longer hungry and you probably won’t need to eat again for 3-4 hours. This is also a good place to finish.

8, you are full. You had just a couple bites too many because it was there or tasted good. You might feel a bit bloated like you need to undo the top button of your pants.

9, you are stuffed. Your eating experience has surpassed pleasure and is now just uncomfortable. You may feel a bit numb or sleepy.

10, you are sick. You feel uncomfortable to the point of pain. You may need to lie down until you feel better.

I like to have my clients combine this tool with a food journal.  You should note a number for your hunger before and your fullness after meals and snacks.  It takes some practice to figure out where you are at initially, but soon it will become second nature (because it is).

You want to try to stay between a 3 and a 7.  If you let yourself get too hungry, you will get too full it works sort of like a pendulum in this way.  So when I say that you need to eat when you are hungry, I mean you better honor your hunger when it comes up.  Don’t push it off because you are busy or it is inconvenient.  This will lead to being way too hungry, and you will overeat.

You must eat slowly enough to sense your fullness.  Try to make a conscious effort to slow your meals to 15-20 minutes.  You will find you gradually become aware of your level of fullness rather than it hitting you all of the sudden.

Overeating and binging are the major reasons for weight struggles.  If you listen to your cues, you can largely avoid these behaviors.  I know it is not glamorous like eating only cabbage, but it is a much more effective for weight loss for summer and beyond.

Dieting and healthy eating have become a national past-time.  People talk about it all the time.  People bond with it.  It fills you with hope.  If you can just lose weight quickly, all your dreams will come true.  It is like winning the body lottery.

Do you think that all of this obsessing about weight and food is helping people get where they want to be?  No.  You and everyone else are moving further away from your goals.  The diet mentality is failing people.  Then the media just pushes it harder as obesity rates climb.  They are feeding you the very crap that is making you sick.

You are confused.  Maybe you feel weak; like you know what to do but just aren’t doing it.  I hear that a lot from my clients.  The answer is always to blame yourself.  It could never be the honorable diet’s fault.  Diets are to blame, though.  They fail people 98% of the time.  That is basically all the time… for everyone.

The definition of crazy is: “Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”  If you have lost weight through dieting or healthy eating before, it is very tempting to try it again.  But what happened after you were done losing weight?  You gained it all back! As much as you want to blame yourself for this, you are not to blame here.  That guilt is just keeping you down.

_________________________________________________________________________________

You are lost without your traditional weight loss techniques.  You don’t know what else to do.  I will show you how to become a normal eater.  You will learn how to eat whatever you want and maintain a stable weight.  This stable weight will be your set point weight.  This will not be some unrealistically low, model-thin weight.  This will be the exact right weight for you.

You will have to give up the notion that you can have any body you want.  I know that you have been marketed to about sculpting your body or looking like so-and-so.  Well, forget it.  You can only be you.  If you don’t accept your set point weight, and your genetically predetermined body, you are destined to forever hate yourself.  That is a prison sentence no one should have to endure.

It is time to get off the gerbil wheel.  Stop chasing your tail or the carrot on the stick.  I have the solution for you, if you are willing to do what it takes.  It is easier than dieting because you can eat whatever you want.  It is harder than dieting because you have to confront the real reasons you eat.  Living a life free of food and body obsessions is worth the work, though.  There is no better feeling than living fully, eating deliciously, and loving yourself completely.